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An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
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Author:  DasGuntLord01 [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:35 am ]
Post subject:  An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
We don't like you, Mr. Schiavello. You are a douche. You're similies and attempts at humour sicken us. Stay in Japan, and never show your ugly mug on the Television again. HDNet should get someone else to commentate in English, because you, Sir, are not worthy.

Sincerely,
- Australia

P.S.

Image

For the love of god, why are you wearing two watches? Die in a fire.
Author:  jab123 [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
Not from all Australians!!
Author:  OU8121832 [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
Das...,
Take a chill pile man... "Die in a fire.".... is that really necessary.. (In case you don't understand; my last statement was rhetorical.)


I personally like Michael, I think he does a great job commentating the sport.. Keep it up Michael!!
Author:  DasGuntLord01 [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 2:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
My worst fears comfirmed... the rest of world likes him. :cry:

Personally, I cringe whenever he says things like "More dumps than a toilet block" (Which I think was during the K-1 Final 16, or the Final 16 Qualifier). "More hooks than a tackle box" is another one of my favorites.

To be fair to the guy, he's a smart guy who knows what he's talking about but...

"Ooh, big knee, right up the Clacker!" *Cringe*

Just commentate, please.
Author:  ziyaze [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
Why do you hate the guy?

I like him much more than say... Mike Goldberg...
In fact I enjoy listening to his voice...

He makes events like Dream a little more interesting to watch...
He is a good commentator that deserves credit...
Its very hard to be play-by-play commentator!

All my respect to Michael Schiavello... the only thing I don't like about him is his lastname... cuz its a bit difficult to spell :D
Author:  MMAmatt2 [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 5:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
the guy is a douche bag! with his '' good night Irene!!'' and his idiotic sayings that im sure someone has written for him n he just uses when he can to make himself sound funny but he's not.
I'm glad im not the only one who thinks hes useless.

BRING BACK BAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author:  jab123 [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 6:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
Keep the comments coming ..." "It's good night irene" :lol:

here is more, just for Das

Top 10 Quotes from K-1 FINAL 16 COMMENTARY

1. "He's so tall in summertime he still gets snow on his head."
-- On 7'2" Hong Mann Choi

2. "He's so tall when he walks past the zoo giraffes are attracted to him."
-- On Choi again

3. "There's more Brazilians in that corner than at my local wax salon."
-- On Ewerton Texeira's corner team

4. "Two things I know for sure: we will never beat Amy Winehouse in a drinking contest, and Texeira definitely won that fight."
-- On Texeira's points win against Musashi

5. "He's an artist. He should cut his ear off."
-- On Dutch technician Remy Bonjasky

6. "He's so pimp. He's a bad ass."
-- On K-1 heavyweight champion Badr Hari

7. "Glaciers move faster."
-- On the slowness of Hong Mann Choi

8. "Look at the redness around his ribcage, it looks like he's been barbecued."
-- On Hong Mann Choi's badly damaged midsection

9. "What happened to his eyebrows? He gave them a Brazilian!"
-- On Glaube Feitosa's lack of eyebrows

10. "Semmy Schilt has less personality than a head of lettuce."
-- On Semmy's lack of charisma
Interests:
Top 10 Quotes from Michael Schiavello`s Commentary of the K-1 MAX FINAL 8 Live from Tokyo

1. "I`m sure somewhere in the world Drago is depriving a village of an idiot."

2. "He`s doing a Tony Danza and showing him Who`s The Boss!"

3. "That`s the worst haircut since Dr Spock" -- on Masato`s new bowl haircut

4. "He`s been scored on more times than my ex-girlfriend."

5. "Drago`s hungry tonight... he`d probably fight for a rice cake."

6. "He`s so short he could sit on a piece of toilet paper and his feet would still dangle."

7. "He`s like the Volvo of K-1 Max"

8. "Open the fridge, he`s out cold!"

9. "That round was ugly but entertaining... just like the last girl I dated."

10. "The wheel is spinning but the mouse inside the wheel is dead. He killed the mouse!"
Favorite Quotations:
"THE VOICE" MICHAEL SCHIAVELLO'S TOP 10 COMMENTARY LINES OF 2007



1. "Feitosa is a nice Brazilian... I like a nice Brazilian... I used to tell my ex-girlfriend that all the time."


2. "There are two things I know for sure: Britney Spears will never win Mother of The Year and Albert Kraus didn't win that fight!"

3. "He went swimming last week and Japanese whaling boats began firing harpoons at him."


4. "He's been on his back more than my ex-girlfriend."

5. "He wears more hair product than Bon Jovi."


6. "I'm so excited I've got goosebumps on my arm... or some other sort of strange growth."


7. "There are no windows in Mighty Mo's house. If he wants to let a breeze in he just punches a hole in the wall."


8. "He's a stud... there are no such things as lesbians in the world, just women who haven't met Paul Slowinski yet."


9. "He's so tall giraffes are attracted to him."


10. "He's so short he could milk a cow standing up. You know he went to Tokyo Disneyland last week and they wouldn't let him on any of the rides."


AND MORE...

* "In the words of Martika -- I felt the Earth move!" -- commentary of K-1 Scandivania Battleground 24

* "He's proving harder to catch than Osama Bin Laden!" -- commentary of DREAM.1 in Japan

* "Those punches have less weight behind them than Kate Moss." -- commentary of DREAM.1 in Japan

* "He's been mounted more times than a taxidermist." -- commentary of DREAM.1 in Japan

* "He needs to throw caution to the wind... I mean here's caution... here's the wind... (makes wind sound)... there goes caution." -- commentary of K-1 Scandinavia Battleground 24

* "This would be a big win for Italian kickboxing... if he wins tonight there's a lot of people singing Lascate mi cantare." -- commentary of K-1 Scandinavia Battleground 24


MICHAEL SCHIAVELLO`S TOP ONE-LINERS FROM DREAM.3 MMA Super Show in Saitama, Japan

1. "He`s been mounted more times than Jenna Jameison!"

2. "Animal from the Muppets just called... tell Eddie Alvarez he wants his eyebrows back"

3. "He`s been on his back more than my ex-girlfriend."

4. "He`s letting fly like Mussolini from the balcony."

5. "This guy is nuts... I mean he`s waaaay off the reservation!"



About Me:
THE VOICE MICHAEL SCHIAVELLO'S...

TOP 10 ONE LINERS during the OLYMPIC GAMES BOXING COMMENTARY

"The Voice" Michael Schiavello's TOP 10 ONE LINERS from his OLYMPIC GAMES COMMENTARY.

1. "A female groupie backstage at an Elton John concert would have more chance of picking up than this fighter does of winning this fight."

2. "He's scored more than Tommy Lee at a boat party"

3. "I just set up a Myspace Page for him under the name 'Man Who Doesn't Jab' ... he's already got 40 friends!"

4. "Ring-a-ding-ding in Beijing!"

5. "If punches were people, he'd be China!"

6. "You'd have an easier time picking up KD Lang in a bar..."

7. "The Cuban boxing team over the years have put more gold around their neck than Mr T."

8. "He loves fighting on the inside. He's agorophobic -- he's afraid to go outside!"

9. "He's stacking the combinations like a supermarket shelf."

10. "He has no chance of winning this, unless maybe a safe falls on his opponnet's head!"
Author:  jab123 [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
Here Das just you more facts coz u like the guy.

High School:

* Xavier College '92
*



Employer:
Fox Sports; TVNZ; HDNet USA; FEG Entertainment
Position:
TV Commentator
Location:
Melbourne, Australia
Description:
Michael Schiavello is the world's leading ringsports commentator.

Known as "The Voice" he has commentated events worldwide including:

Las Vegas, Beijing, Poland, Budapest, Taiwan, Tokyo, Seoul, Amsterdam, Honolulu, Auckland, Osaka, Sapporo, Saitama, Fukuoka, Macau, Hong Kong and around Australia.

His commentary has even featured on NBC on the JAY LENO SHOW!

Recently, Michael hosted and commentated the most watched reality TV show in history -- THE CONTENDER ASIA FINALE -- in Singapore for a worldwide TV audience including 22 countries on AXN, ESPN, ITV4 UK and soon to be seen on Fox 8. The show was produced by Mark Burnett Productions, the Hollywood team behind 'Survivor', 'The Apprentice', 'Rock Star INXS' and 'The Amazing Race.'

In August 2008 Michael commentated the Olympic Games in Beijing for 110 countries as part of the Asian Broadcasting Unio. He also commentated the 2006 Commonwealth Games in Melbourne.

He has commentated for such networks as:
Fox Sports
Fox 8
Main Event
HDNet USA
SBC South Africa
Sky Australia
Sky NZ
MBC
Al Jazeera
TV ONE (NZ)
TV2 (NZ)
TV3 (NZ)
InDemand USA
Viewer's Choice Canada
ESPN (USA)
Astro Malaysia
True TV Thailand
Channel 7 Thailand
Pro TV Romania
Direct Dish USA


He was also part of the largest pay-per-view event in Australian history when he commentated alongside Kostya Tszyu, Paul Briggs, Barry Michael, Adam Watt and Clinton Grybas for the Mundine vs Danny Green card at Sydney Football Stadium in 2006.

Known as "The Voice", Michael is renowned for his seemingly endless array of hilarious one-liners that he infuses into his commentary, they include such gems as:

- He's taken more knocks than a front door
- He's all over him like Paris Hilton on a home video camera
- He's worn more leather than The Village People
- He's got more kick than a Can Can dancer
- He's taken more strikes than a builder's union

Michael is former editor-in-chief of Blitz Publications -- Australia's largest sports and lifestyle magazine publisher, where he worked full-time between 1993 - 2000.

He still freelances for several magazines including Inside Sport magazine.

In 1998 Michael became the youngest writer EVER inducted into the CUB/Random House BEST AUSTRALIAN SPORTS WRITING AWARDS at age 23 for a story he wrote on Cathy Freeman entitled "Dreaming Freeman".

Michael is also a best-selling author, having published four books including the 1999 cult classic "Bouncer!" as featured on A Current Affair, and the novel 'Reflex Jack' released in 2001.

Michael even had a bit role in the American feature film 'Torn' shot in Melbourne in 2006 where he appeared alongside Costas Mandylor (Picket Fences, Mobsters).

For more check out Michael's official website:
www.thevoiceonline.info

CITIES I'VE COMMENTATED IN

* Beijing
* Lodz Poland
* Taiwan
* Tokyo
* Amsterdam
* Las Vegas
* Singapore
* Honolulu
* Budapest
* Macua
* Hong Kong
* Seoul
* Osaka
* Sapporo
* Nagoya
* Fukuoka
* Saitama
* Yokohama
* Melbourne
* Brisbane
* Sydney
* Perth
* Surfers Paradise
* Auckland





MICHAEL SCHIAVELLO featured in...

RUDE BLOKE
By Ben Vernon
As Appeared in THE TOWNSVILLE BULLETIN, August 2007

IN many ways it must be a hard job calling sport on television.

And I mean the person calling the actual game, not the knob-end `colour man' sidekick.

That's a piece of piss. If you're Phil Gould, for instance, you can just watch while Ray Warren does all the
work and shout things like ``Unbelievable!'' occasionally and say crap like: ``I first saw this kid playing in the under-5s for Mareeba and I knew he was going to be special''.

No, I'm talking about the guys that actually call the game.

I'm not a huge fan of AFL but one of the best in the business is Dennis Cometti.
The man that gave us such classic moments as: ``Barlow to Bateman. The Hawks are attacking alphabetically ... ,'' when describing Melbourne star Adem Yze: ``Terrific player, terrible scrabble hand'' and: ``Exquisite goal by Glendinning. That was a Rock Hudson kick – looked straight but it wasn't''.

In other, Cometti-less, football codes one has to rely on horrific mistakes for entertaning commentary. How about this gem from a Kiwi rugby commentator: ``Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside him''.
I don't think they'll playing that version of the game in heaven! But Test cricket – five gruelling seven-hour days that dribblers and former players feel compelled to fill with gibber – is arguably the most fertile ground for
commentary genius.

BBC commentator Brian Johnston came up with this alarming report in the early 80s as West Indies fast bowler Michael Holding came in to bowl to English all-rounder Peter Willey: ``The bowler's Holding, the
batsman's Willey''.

And this gem as Pommy captain and fast bowler Bob Willis took himself off after a spirited opening spell: ``The England captain has relieved himself at the pavilion end.''

And you can't go past the emperor of understatement, Richie Benaud, who came up with this one after Kim
Hughes copped one in the nether regions: ``.... and Kim Hughes returns to the crease with one ball remaining''.

But my favourite Benaud moment was when Pakistan skipper Wasim Akram lost the toss and yelled the F word frustration to a live TV audience. Without a pause, deadpan and drier than the Simpson desert, Benaud said: "Interesting to note, isnt it, that the word for extreme disappointment the same in English as it is in Urdu.'' They just don't make them like that any more.

But there is a new kid on the block – a commentator of such wit and descriptive genius he makes Oscar Wilde seem like a monosyllabic moron. His name is Michael Schiavello and it's likely not many of you have heard of him because he commentates on kick-boxing, but he is destined to become one of the greats.

Schiavello has a tremendous gift for simile.

I watched two kickboxing tournaments, purely to listen to this bloke's work, and this is the sort of stuff he comes up with in the quieter moments ..."He's working more angles than a protractor and got more moves
than a chessboard', `he's got more combinations than a Chinese takeaway, he's put on more strikes than a builder's union, he's all over him like a fat kid on a cupcake'.

But when one of the fighters is receiving some punishment is when Schiavello truly comes into his own.

``He's copped more jabs than a typhoid clinic, he's worn more leather than the Village People, he's taken more hits than Google, he's been scored on more times than my ex-girlfriend, he's taken more battering than a piece of flake, left himself more exposed than Janet Jackson's right nipple, taken more knocks than a front door, more hits than the Beatles/a pinata/a blackjack table, more kicks than a chorus line'' and on one memorable occasion when a fighter accidentally got kicked in the pills he came up with this: ``I hope he wanted to be a farmer because he's just picked up a couple of achers.''

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Author:  jitsuka [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
The goodnight irene is still ringing in my ears i fucking hate that guy with passion.
Author:  Dent [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: An Open Letter from Australia to Michael Schiavello
lol I had to join in

I like Michael Schiavello

nuff said lol
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